Mini-portraits and art making loving…
My love for portraiture goes back to my childhood, I dreamt of doing portraits, and I went beyond that and I actually made them. BUT (and there was a big BUT) I did not always feel that I was necesarily any good at it. I lacked the confidence. My creativity was not something that I valued, I took it for granted, because I was told growing up that there were things more important in life. How could I have ever envisioned that my creativity would fill me with hope in some of the most challenging times in my life, as I recovered from a mental breakdown.
I cherish the fact that my creativity was bigger than anything else I had ever worked with and that I love so much doing art. In the process of learning more about self-love and self-compassion, over the past three years, I learnt to appreciate and value this wonderful creativity of mine. I have nurtured it regularly and consistently work on making art.
In 2017, after years of not exploring my creativity, due to lack of self-care and also lack of seeking support for my mental health challenges. I suddenly felt an urge and started to do some simple sketches on and off. I remembered some of the exercises I did during my time attending the Fashion Institute of Technology in NYC, as a non degree student at 17. My life was chaotic as a teenager, much like my childhood had been, and art was a beautiful refuge. Doing art at 17, was coming back to a sweet spot from childhood, to the quieter times that felt less worrisome, I remember sketching regularly as a child, but never feeling confident in what I made. I compared myself to my oldest siblings and I never felt that what I did was anything particularly special. I loved doing mini-portraits as a child, so in 2017 I also decided to make them. It had been too many years without practicing, and I could see it and feel it too. But this time I was not discouraged, even when I could only manage to sketch very seldomly it felt magical to return to it every time.
As a young mom in 2018, I experienced cancer, and again art seem to help me cope with all the uncertainty and fear that became a regular part of life. I became more willing to share my art. I felt ready to do what I needed to do to make my art career a reality, and so I started working on my practice more regularly. I remember vividly a trip where I got to see a movie that moved me deeply, it was LA LA LAND. It was the calling I needed within me to start making again, and to not stop. I had put off my creative life for too long and I felt it deep in my bones. I needed to make a plan and so I did, I was frustrated that I was not able to regularly make it to life drawing sessions with all the day to the day demands, but I persisted, I went as often as life permitted it, and when it didn’t I made my kids my life models, by observing them.
I could not have imagined what a beautiful and rewarding journey it would be, and it would hold me when I needed it the most. I cherish making every piece of art. There is a special place in my heart for the artworks I make. I also feel so much passion for making mini-portraits. It feels like a very special treat, and it is something I do when I am in hectic periods and I have long absences from my atelier. I carry these around with me, and I work with them at home or when I travel.
May you (the reader) cherish your creative souls more regularly, whether is tending to a beautiful garden, cooking a delicious meal, spending time knitting or doing carpentry, writing or anything that feels like a special gift to you. And may you (and I also) encourage and support children around us as they learn and grow into adults who cherish their whole way of being including their creativity.
