I find myself in Tulum, Mexico. Life has slowed down, it is meant to be this way, it is meant to nurture my soul and spirit. Unsurprisingly it has sparked creativity, joy and peace of mind; it is also allowing me to see the path ahead clearer.

When my mental breakdown occurred 3 years ago, there were so few things I could manage on my day to day. Even my physical body was telling me I could no longer continue the way I had been doing (overdoing) things. But there was one thing that I managed and which filled me with so much joy and wellbeing. It was nurturing to my soul in ways that I find hard to convey in words.

While in Prague, I got to spend some quality time with dear friends, among them, was my amazing artist friends Monair Hyman, and Theodora Dea, we went together to an exhibition by Alfons Mucha. It was both enlightening and beautiful to see his art. It made me think of how much we have yet to do for equality in the art world. It is so easy to find exhibitions of great male artists, and whole museums and collections of them. But for women artists is a whole new story, one has to dig deep and rarely can one find more than a few artworks in a large museums collection (and that is only on the occasions when the museums hold anything all).

I am ART and I cannot imagine a life without being a painter.

To be creative is a part of who I am at my core. I have never felt it so strongly within me as I do now, that I could have never done anything else in life with more passion. Every book I read about art and art history, reaffirms my desire to paint a history for myself and those around me. So much has been told about people lives, and yet so little is known about women in that process. Because often the stories are told by men, of men.

I am reading the book by Katy Hessel, The Story of Art Without Men, I had so been looking forward to reading her book, as a follower of her account on instagram and also of her podcast. As I rejoiced in every word she is writing about these women, I realise I want to know more. Yet I know that finding out more about them will likely not be possible. This is by far the most comprehensive book I have read about women in art, and yet in a period of 200 years, between 1400 and 1600, there is only 17 women listed. It baffles me to think that of all the creative beings that must have passed this earth, so little is know about so many of them.

My love for portraiture goes back to my childhood, I dreamt of doing portraits, and I went beyond that and I actually made them. BUT (and there was a big BUT) I did not always feel that I was necesarily any good at it. I lacked the confidence. My creativity was not something that I valued, I took it for granted, because I was told growing up that there were things more important in life. How could I have ever envisioned that my creativity would fill me with hope in some of the most challenging times in my life, as I recovered from a mental breakdown.

How many of us women will be remembered? And how many of us will only have our name whispered for daring to live freely and “wildly” as our true selves? How many of us women wish we could leave and not return? Not because we don’t love the people in our life, but rather because life has put too much on us and we don't seem to see a way out…

Motherhood in all its glory at times seems all consuming, if one lets it. But there is a human behind it all wishing to live its wildest dreams.

Female artists get paid 10 p vs £1 paid to male artists, a mere 10%, this is according to a study conducted by Helen Gorrill. This is even when there are regularly around 70% female artists in art education. Furthermore, prices of art created by females drop even further if the art is signed. The information above, was found in an article by the Guardian Newspaper .

Venice a love (art) affair

I started to see me, beyond her. Reflections after I finished reading Catherine McCormack’s: 

WOMEN IN THE PICTURE

Women, Art and the Power of Looking